Destiny through the looking window

Penned onboard an Etihad flight London-Abu Dhabi-Hyderabad (01-Mar-2016)

Sometime in 1985 and 1986 - He was excited, very excited for that day, he, his parents and brother moved into the 2^nd floor, one bedroom apartment within the IIT, Bombay campus.  With 15 years of life behind him and having just completed his 10^th, he knew that the next 2 years would define what he will be for the rest of his life.  He was prepared to bury himself into the books perhaps motivated and inspired by the nerds in the IIT campus that he came across every day.  He had to find a corner in that apartment that will be his, where he was determined to burn the night oil and crack the JEE for that seat in IIT.  “Mom”, he shouted in excitement after scouring the tiny little apartment “this window and this corner is where I will study”.

He peered through the window and marveled at the exquisite sight that confronted him.  The evening red sun cast a beautiful reflection in the waters of the lake in Powai.  The birds chirping away to glory heading towards their home, 2 naughty little squirrels rummaging for some food, scampering up and down the Eucalyptus tree while a crickets’ shrill call cut through the otherwise silent environs.  Aaah, what a perfect place he thought for himself to keep company before he would shift to a hostel room in the campus absolutely confident that he will be completing his B.Tech from IIT.

Resnick and Halliday, Bohr and Bohr, Bruce H Mahan, IE Irodov, Hall Knight, SL Loney, booklets from Brilliant Tutorials and Agarwal Classes were keeping him company during the early mornings of study time.  He marveled at the problem construct of the bird flying to and fro between 2 trains approaching each other trying to arrive at the distance flown.  He would often feel dejected in a circle of friends who would solve complex questions in a jiffy whereas he would have had to spend an inordinate time to understand and get to the solution.  Doesn’t matter he thought…I shall work hard very hard, very very hard to compensate for this lack of intelligence.  And so, he would soon sleep at 9 pm and wake up at 3 am and a few weeks later 8 pm to 2 am and a few months later 8 pm to 1 am.  He wanted to cut down any TV time, any conversations with the outside world.  Studies was his world.  The goal was clear.  And he used to dream….

He dreamt and dreamt big.  He also dreamt of those thoughts that a typical teenager would.  Yes, the Indo-Pak cricket matches were on.  Doordarshan was just bringing in live coverage of the Test Matches.  He would steal a few moments during the day, watching Imran Khan’s fast marauding in-swingers snuffing the whiff out of the Sunil Gavaskars, Dilip Vengsarkars of India.  Those were the days of the Kapil Dev and Karsan Ghavri who would sometimes be taken to smithereens by Zaheer Abbas and his gang.  And then his dream would begin…If only, I were the bowler…I would have bowled at 150 kmph, a fast out-swinger followed by the fastest in-swinger and get Pak bowled out within 50 runs and then I will bat to take India to victory.  And then there were these thoughts, the attractive kind of ones. He used to think of his favorite and the most beautiful Chemistry teacher, Ms Sunita Bhatia or of his coy classmate Ms Rajani A, whose mesmerizing smile would evoke sublime feelings in him.  He would often stare out of the window thinking of all the beauty that his eyes could take.  He would watch the rain beating down on the lake at the other end and guess to almost perfection the time the clouds would bring the rain to his window making a line in the lake while advancing towards him.  He would peep out to watch the droplets of water over the leaves and marvel at how the woodpecker went about its routine and the squirrels ran around playing one another.

He still remembers that day, when his father came round  to his corner and said “Son..”.  Not often did his Dad speak to him and he thought that something would be serious gazing at the caring face of his Dad.  “I have been observing…” he started to say…”Well rather, I am noticing that you are not really studying well and rather are engrossed in thoughts…I see you stare out of the window a lot. Are you doing ok?”  Before, I could answer, he continued “At your age, Son…” he said “There are lot of thoughts that come into mind.  These thoughts are more like dreams and most of the times have no intrinsic value” he added.  “You have been working very hard…but you should take care of these thoughts that would not help you.  The moment you recognize that there are these thoughts, let your mind recognize and understand that these are of little help and they are stealing your time.  Bring back your thoughts to your books” Saying this, his Dad left as quickly as he came.  “Wow” he thought perhaps stung by the words and the weight they carried.  That was a defining moment for him.  His dads’ profound thoughts had a great impact on him.  From that day, he would recognize these thoughts as soon as they would start incubating in his mind and he would immediately shun them away.  Over a period of the next few days, he was able to train his mind well.  He was back to his routine, to his carefully laid out study time table.  Monday, Physics, Tuesday, Chemistry, Wednesday and Thursday, Math, Friday, XII subjects….He was putting in some 8 hours a day at the table, at his corner table overlooking the lake.  Play and gossip became alien to him.  Steadfastness onto the goal was of paramount importance.

It was soon the deliverance day.  The IIT JEE.  He prayed hard.  The exams will define his future…he was confident of doing well…but there was always the fear that lurked of “what if”.  Chemistry and Physics were reasonably easy but Math he thought was tough.  A few glances around during the Math exam reassured him that he was not alone.  Tension was writ large on almost all the faces that he could discern.  His doubts were laid to rest when he enquired with his friends who felt and equitable pain when confronted with that exam.  Ok, I did what I could do and as his mom and dad always told him “Leave the rest to the almighty”. 

The results day dawned post an agonizing period of a vacuous wait.  The day seemed drawn and stretched.  The selection list was to be put up at 5 pm that evening.  Exhausted perhaps with anxiety, he unusually dozed off into a deep slumber that afternoon.   Is it already 4:30 pm?  I should be waking up and going to the results office was his subconscious state of mind.  He woke up with a start and started to get ready.  His parents meanwhile, came to his bed.  Something did not seem right to him.  Their behavior seemed rather odd.  His mother came by and sat on his bed and spoke ever so softly.  “Son” she started “…we just went to the office and saw the results.  They were put up at 3”, she took a deep breath and what came out of her mouth next was something that he could never ever forget.  “….your number did not show up”.  “What” he said, his face suddenly ashen as if all the blood drained out.  “It can’t be…it can never be…I am destined to study at IIT…you made a mistake…you did not see the list properly”.  Saying that he rushed out and rode his bicycle.  The 1 km ride seemed agonizingly slow and took eternity to reach.  He approached the notice board  and strained his neck through the crowd.  1457, 1482, 1532, 1588.  No the next 3 columns is where his number would be.  6324 ought to be listed.  5498, 5582…no the next column…ok, ok..6127, 6200, 6310, 6321, 6344, 6356….No, No…I should go back.  I need to re-read, he thought.  The second pass did not yield the result he was looking for.  The third pass…No.. How, Why, there must be a mistake and all the set of questions came flooding to his sunken mind.  My parents were right he thought.  His number was missing.  What could have happened? 

With a lump in his heart and a tear rolling down his cheek, he rode back home ever so slowly. He went to his room, his window peered out into emptiness.  Suddenly, the lake appeared blurred, the trees appear blurred through his moist eyes.  He held the window with his hands, his emotions gave in and he burst out crying.  A cry that came from deep within his heart, tears flowed.  His parents were waiting for the emotions to drain out.  His mother came by and whispered comforting thoughts.  His mind was blank and nothing was registering.  Her garbled words made no meaning.  He shouted “Why me?  What did I not do?  Did the sacrifices not mean anything?  How did Sumit Roy get through?  He studied for a lesser time than I did?  Why me Mom?  Why me Dad?  What wrong did I do to deserve this?  My life is done?  I can no longer face my friends.  I am an abject failure…”

27^th Jan 2016 – He stands in that very room, at the very window, 30 years and a few months have flown by since that day.  Those emotions flooded through him once again.  Much wiser and reasonably accomplished that he is now, he recalled the times, the reminiscences and wondered at the futility of what went by, of what was ordained for him, of how life has treated him.  He was probably spared the pain of going through another intense 4 years in IIT competing with the best of intellects.  It was sheer intellect vs hard work.  The 4 years could have been the most excruciating ones.  Instead, the almighty chose to bestow a calmer effort spread across several years.  The longer way to the goal.  He was able to manage and swim through with reasonable ease even though a bit drawn.  He sighed and reconciled with the old adage, ”Whatever happens, happens for the best”.  He moved out of that very same room that day an accomplished, reconciled and a satisfied being.  Perhaps, coinciding with this realization, the apartment was being broken, the corner was being broken only to be remodeled signaling the new.

Spectre 2015 - James Bond

Review: Spectre 2015 - James Bond was it? The question all critics ranting against watching the movie seem to be asking. To me this was a mish mash of all the previous Bond flicks. A villain wanting to do something really bad and Mr Bond the savior uses some cars, a copter, a plane etc. not too many gadgets, goes over to some amazingly great cross country/continent locales, rather beautifully shot to save the day. While, the story appears cliched and sometimes predictable, the movie comes out as more rounded, grounded and thoughtful. A tad slow for a true Bond fan, it offers a bit of sentiment, a touch of reality and great pulsating background score. Craig comes across as a credible Bond unlike a put on act like that of Pierce Brosnon. And oh yes, there were some talk of censors being too harsh on the kiss kiss scenes. Censoring these lip locks did not damage much and thought that kids can watch as well. Will put this as a "Please watch" rather than a "must watch" item with an expectation of 3 out of 5. I am more inclined for a 4 out of 5 though.

Comic Relief

Comic Relief: Two words that go together. Really. Always.  What brought me to pen down these thoughts was the prompt that appeared next when I typed “Comic” on my Android while responding to a hilarious forward from a dear friend.  And here is how I relate the two words:

A random annual health check routine got me and my spouse visiting a Corporate Hospital Diagnostic Center recently.  Lined up along with us were some seemingly sick patients, tension writ large on their faces awaiting their turn to be pricked by the needle or be subjected to a 2D Echo or to go under the Scanner not knowing what the ensuing results would forebode.  The lit up muted TV screens were throwing up some not so welcome “Breaking News” adding to the gloom that surrounded the Center.  Just then, a hospital help came through armed with the ubiquitous device that is generally called the “Remote” and flipped through a few channels and stopped the moment he saw Brahmanandam (for those who do not know him:  Brahmi as popularly known is a comedian par excellence in Telugu Cinema) on the screen. The scenes being enacted were from the movie “King”, the music scene where Nags confronts Brahmi and engages him to tune up a song for his fan association.   And lo behold, all eyes in the room turned on to the telly.  Tension writ faces broke into smiles forgetting their burden of worries.  Each one would go into the diagnostic room with a smile and would return as quickly as one could and turn his/her gaze back to the telly and smile even more.  Comic relief, it was is and will remain… I conclude….

Movie Review – San Andreas (2015) – English

Movie Review – San Andreas (2015) – English

Ok ! Here’s how the movie came into being I guess.   Some random guy with tons of money employed a writer to script a “Disaster” movie.  And this “adherence to standards” kind of a writer went about penning down or rather creating the plot and sequences.  Alrighty, for now let you and I create the story through an evolutionary “Fill in the blanks technique”.

1.              ______________ Disaster­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­___________city______________happy ending
2.              ______ disaster earthquake ______seismic zone_____California, San Fransciso, bridge collapse_________happy pending (Logic – 9 out of 10 disaster movies happen in California and the iconic bridge will have to collapse and the Hoover dam as well  you see).  Ok first the Hoover dam and then the Golden Gate bridge in that order.
3.             __________trapped family _____ disaster quake seismic zone,  California....lot of buildings will collapse.....happy ending
4.       Add several doses of emotion.  Ofcourse all disaster movies will have an estranged family.  Wife wants divorce and is seeing some other guy...husband the hero (we all need to sympathize with this poor fella), and add a son or a daughter.  If daughter then the daughter will love the Dad soooo much...but she will have a boy friend and the father does not like his cho chweet daughter to be with the boyfriend until there comes a force fit scene where the boy friends fights through challenges, doesn’t care about his life and saves the daughter.  And lo behold, the father suddenly acknowledges the boyfriends presence.  Usually in disaster movies the family will have a daughter and not a son. 
5.       Estranged trapped family with husband (the “paapam” guy), his wife who is wanting to settle with someone else, the daughter who is travelling (she has to be in a different city when disaster strikes) suddenly are struck with a disastrous earthquake.  Meanwhile, there is another nerdy professorial researcher  (in California Tech) who models quakes with a bunch of students.  He is feeling very happy first because his models are predicting the right things...but hold on a bit..there is “Oh My God”..this can’t be happening..”oMG” there is a mother of all quakes that is going to hit.  And the first quake hits.....happy ending.
6.       Estranged trapped.........the earth will split only after the heroine crosses the road or the earth will split just by the side of where the heroine is running...and after sometime the earth will shatter on the path the heroine is running ahead of her and she will have no where to go.  Aha, here comes the hero, he jumps, swims, crawls, uses his muscle to move mountains and gets his wife out of the situation...happy ending

Honey, It’s going to be alright, Honey, I will get our daughter back.  Honey, are you ok, Honey..Honey...Honey.  Suddenly, there will be lots of dialogues starting and ending with Honey, i will be right back, I love you some more honey honey honey.

Finally, after some 75% of the junta dies, the bridge collapses, the hero, heroine and daughter are ok..they are together and there is honey all around.

Easy isn’t it.  Scripting a disaster movie??.  Good, now get the SFX fellow, ask him to create some tall and very tall buildings, get them to crash and lo you have a movie.

The SFX were good, but as you would have guessed by now the banality,  (or the lack of originality) in the story I will go for a 2 * rating for this one.

Movie Review: Mission Impossible 5

Movie Review: Mission Impossible 5 - Rouge Nation: I went, I saw and I liked. Liked "why because" I understood every dialogue and the entire plot. Unlike MI 1 and others, the masks were lesser and I exactly knew who was doing what. Liked because, the stunts were good....aeroplane stunt covered check, car stunt covered check, bike stunt covered check..they missed a train stunt and a boat stunt though. I liked the background score and I lovvveddd Rebecca Ferguson (eye candy stuff she was). The plot kind of love hate story between the US intelligence and the British. Ofcourse the guy has to be from the US and the girl (Rebecca, if you will) from the Great Britain....a bit of "Don" I need the disc that has the names of....and a rogue villain who will destroy the globe. All said, I still liked MI5. Watch it in a good theatre. A definite 4 out of 5 if you like some James Bondish action..

Movie Review: Baahubali 2015 Telugu

Movie Review: Baahubali - Much has been written about this movie (and I will hence resort to brevity). It was good. The Cinematography and the scale unparalleled in Indian Cinema. Some of the stunt sequences were breathtaking. Well not too much of gravity defying stunts thankfully..I felt that the cast could have been better. For an epic movie like this, the lead actor should have a thunderous voice, should have good expressions, passion for example. Prabhas was a minus on these counts. Just having a great built is not the only qualification. Ramyakrishna definitely stood out..Rana looked good but yet to see more of him. Saw this movie in Dolby Atmos and the background score was very good. For those you have not yet watched, please do. A 3.5/5.

Trains

Easily one of my favourite pass times. A sleeper class journey gazing out of the window, feeling the wind hit the face, ears absorb the thundering rhythm, while the eyes take in visuals, the nose smells the dieseled smoke and the mind furiously calculates the speed counting the time elapsed between poles. And ofcourse the counting of the compartments.. I will never age when it comes to trains.....

Picture credit: Sruti Meher Nori