Movie Review – San Andreas (2015) – English

Movie Review – San Andreas (2015) – English

Ok ! Here’s how the movie came into being I guess.   Some random guy with tons of money employed a writer to script a “Disaster” movie.  And this “adherence to standards” kind of a writer went about penning down or rather creating the plot and sequences.  Alrighty, for now let you and I create the story through an evolutionary “Fill in the blanks technique”.

1.              ______________ Disaster­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­___________city______________happy ending
2.              ______ disaster earthquake ______seismic zone_____California, San Fransciso, bridge collapse_________happy pending (Logic – 9 out of 10 disaster movies happen in California and the iconic bridge will have to collapse and the Hoover dam as well  you see).  Ok first the Hoover dam and then the Golden Gate bridge in that order.
3.             __________trapped family _____ disaster quake seismic zone,  California....lot of buildings will collapse.....happy ending
4.       Add several doses of emotion.  Ofcourse all disaster movies will have an estranged family.  Wife wants divorce and is seeing some other guy...husband the hero (we all need to sympathize with this poor fella), and add a son or a daughter.  If daughter then the daughter will love the Dad soooo much...but she will have a boy friend and the father does not like his cho chweet daughter to be with the boyfriend until there comes a force fit scene where the boy friends fights through challenges, doesn’t care about his life and saves the daughter.  And lo behold, the father suddenly acknowledges the boyfriends presence.  Usually in disaster movies the family will have a daughter and not a son. 
5.       Estranged trapped family with husband (the “paapam” guy), his wife who is wanting to settle with someone else, the daughter who is travelling (she has to be in a different city when disaster strikes) suddenly are struck with a disastrous earthquake.  Meanwhile, there is another nerdy professorial researcher  (in California Tech) who models quakes with a bunch of students.  He is feeling very happy first because his models are predicting the right things...but hold on a bit..there is “Oh My God”..this can’t be happening..”oMG” there is a mother of all quakes that is going to hit.  And the first quake hits.....happy ending.
6.       Estranged trapped.........the earth will split only after the heroine crosses the road or the earth will split just by the side of where the heroine is running...and after sometime the earth will shatter on the path the heroine is running ahead of her and she will have no where to go.  Aha, here comes the hero, he jumps, swims, crawls, uses his muscle to move mountains and gets his wife out of the situation...happy ending

Honey, It’s going to be alright, Honey, I will get our daughter back.  Honey, are you ok, Honey..Honey...Honey.  Suddenly, there will be lots of dialogues starting and ending with Honey, i will be right back, I love you some more honey honey honey.

Finally, after some 75% of the junta dies, the bridge collapses, the hero, heroine and daughter are ok..they are together and there is honey all around.

Easy isn’t it.  Scripting a disaster movie??.  Good, now get the SFX fellow, ask him to create some tall and very tall buildings, get them to crash and lo you have a movie.

The SFX were good, but as you would have guessed by now the banality,  (or the lack of originality) in the story I will go for a 2 * rating for this one.