Destiny through the looking window

Penned onboard an Etihad flight London-Abu Dhabi-Hyderabad (01-Mar-2016)

Sometime in 1985 and 1986 - He was excited, very excited for that day, he, his parents and brother moved into the 2^nd floor, one bedroom apartment within the IIT, Bombay campus.  With 15 years of life behind him and having just completed his 10^th, he knew that the next 2 years would define what he will be for the rest of his life.  He was prepared to bury himself into the books perhaps motivated and inspired by the nerds in the IIT campus that he came across every day.  He had to find a corner in that apartment that will be his, where he was determined to burn the night oil and crack the JEE for that seat in IIT.  “Mom”, he shouted in excitement after scouring the tiny little apartment “this window and this corner is where I will study”.

He peered through the window and marveled at the exquisite sight that confronted him.  The evening red sun cast a beautiful reflection in the waters of the lake in Powai.  The birds chirping away to glory heading towards their home, 2 naughty little squirrels rummaging for some food, scampering up and down the Eucalyptus tree while a crickets’ shrill call cut through the otherwise silent environs.  Aaah, what a perfect place he thought for himself to keep company before he would shift to a hostel room in the campus absolutely confident that he will be completing his B.Tech from IIT.

Resnick and Halliday, Bohr and Bohr, Bruce H Mahan, IE Irodov, Hall Knight, SL Loney, booklets from Brilliant Tutorials and Agarwal Classes were keeping him company during the early mornings of study time.  He marveled at the problem construct of the bird flying to and fro between 2 trains approaching each other trying to arrive at the distance flown.  He would often feel dejected in a circle of friends who would solve complex questions in a jiffy whereas he would have had to spend an inordinate time to understand and get to the solution.  Doesn’t matter he thought…I shall work hard very hard, very very hard to compensate for this lack of intelligence.  And so, he would soon sleep at 9 pm and wake up at 3 am and a few weeks later 8 pm to 2 am and a few months later 8 pm to 1 am.  He wanted to cut down any TV time, any conversations with the outside world.  Studies was his world.  The goal was clear.  And he used to dream….

He dreamt and dreamt big.  He also dreamt of those thoughts that a typical teenager would.  Yes, the Indo-Pak cricket matches were on.  Doordarshan was just bringing in live coverage of the Test Matches.  He would steal a few moments during the day, watching Imran Khan’s fast marauding in-swingers snuffing the whiff out of the Sunil Gavaskars, Dilip Vengsarkars of India.  Those were the days of the Kapil Dev and Karsan Ghavri who would sometimes be taken to smithereens by Zaheer Abbas and his gang.  And then his dream would begin…If only, I were the bowler…I would have bowled at 150 kmph, a fast out-swinger followed by the fastest in-swinger and get Pak bowled out within 50 runs and then I will bat to take India to victory.  And then there were these thoughts, the attractive kind of ones. He used to think of his favorite and the most beautiful Chemistry teacher, Ms Sunita Bhatia or of his coy classmate Ms Rajani A, whose mesmerizing smile would evoke sublime feelings in him.  He would often stare out of the window thinking of all the beauty that his eyes could take.  He would watch the rain beating down on the lake at the other end and guess to almost perfection the time the clouds would bring the rain to his window making a line in the lake while advancing towards him.  He would peep out to watch the droplets of water over the leaves and marvel at how the woodpecker went about its routine and the squirrels ran around playing one another.

He still remembers that day, when his father came round  to his corner and said “Son..”.  Not often did his Dad speak to him and he thought that something would be serious gazing at the caring face of his Dad.  “I have been observing…” he started to say…”Well rather, I am noticing that you are not really studying well and rather are engrossed in thoughts…I see you stare out of the window a lot. Are you doing ok?”  Before, I could answer, he continued “At your age, Son…” he said “There are lot of thoughts that come into mind.  These thoughts are more like dreams and most of the times have no intrinsic value” he added.  “You have been working very hard…but you should take care of these thoughts that would not help you.  The moment you recognize that there are these thoughts, let your mind recognize and understand that these are of little help and they are stealing your time.  Bring back your thoughts to your books” Saying this, his Dad left as quickly as he came.  “Wow” he thought perhaps stung by the words and the weight they carried.  That was a defining moment for him.  His dads’ profound thoughts had a great impact on him.  From that day, he would recognize these thoughts as soon as they would start incubating in his mind and he would immediately shun them away.  Over a period of the next few days, he was able to train his mind well.  He was back to his routine, to his carefully laid out study time table.  Monday, Physics, Tuesday, Chemistry, Wednesday and Thursday, Math, Friday, XII subjects….He was putting in some 8 hours a day at the table, at his corner table overlooking the lake.  Play and gossip became alien to him.  Steadfastness onto the goal was of paramount importance.

It was soon the deliverance day.  The IIT JEE.  He prayed hard.  The exams will define his future…he was confident of doing well…but there was always the fear that lurked of “what if”.  Chemistry and Physics were reasonably easy but Math he thought was tough.  A few glances around during the Math exam reassured him that he was not alone.  Tension was writ large on almost all the faces that he could discern.  His doubts were laid to rest when he enquired with his friends who felt and equitable pain when confronted with that exam.  Ok, I did what I could do and as his mom and dad always told him “Leave the rest to the almighty”. 

The results day dawned post an agonizing period of a vacuous wait.  The day seemed drawn and stretched.  The selection list was to be put up at 5 pm that evening.  Exhausted perhaps with anxiety, he unusually dozed off into a deep slumber that afternoon.   Is it already 4:30 pm?  I should be waking up and going to the results office was his subconscious state of mind.  He woke up with a start and started to get ready.  His parents meanwhile, came to his bed.  Something did not seem right to him.  Their behavior seemed rather odd.  His mother came by and sat on his bed and spoke ever so softly.  “Son” she started “…we just went to the office and saw the results.  They were put up at 3”, she took a deep breath and what came out of her mouth next was something that he could never ever forget.  “….your number did not show up”.  “What” he said, his face suddenly ashen as if all the blood drained out.  “It can’t be…it can never be…I am destined to study at IIT…you made a mistake…you did not see the list properly”.  Saying that he rushed out and rode his bicycle.  The 1 km ride seemed agonizingly slow and took eternity to reach.  He approached the notice board  and strained his neck through the crowd.  1457, 1482, 1532, 1588.  No the next 3 columns is where his number would be.  6324 ought to be listed.  5498, 5582…no the next column…ok, ok..6127, 6200, 6310, 6321, 6344, 6356….No, No…I should go back.  I need to re-read, he thought.  The second pass did not yield the result he was looking for.  The third pass…No.. How, Why, there must be a mistake and all the set of questions came flooding to his sunken mind.  My parents were right he thought.  His number was missing.  What could have happened? 

With a lump in his heart and a tear rolling down his cheek, he rode back home ever so slowly. He went to his room, his window peered out into emptiness.  Suddenly, the lake appeared blurred, the trees appear blurred through his moist eyes.  He held the window with his hands, his emotions gave in and he burst out crying.  A cry that came from deep within his heart, tears flowed.  His parents were waiting for the emotions to drain out.  His mother came by and whispered comforting thoughts.  His mind was blank and nothing was registering.  Her garbled words made no meaning.  He shouted “Why me?  What did I not do?  Did the sacrifices not mean anything?  How did Sumit Roy get through?  He studied for a lesser time than I did?  Why me Mom?  Why me Dad?  What wrong did I do to deserve this?  My life is done?  I can no longer face my friends.  I am an abject failure…”

27^th Jan 2016 – He stands in that very room, at the very window, 30 years and a few months have flown by since that day.  Those emotions flooded through him once again.  Much wiser and reasonably accomplished that he is now, he recalled the times, the reminiscences and wondered at the futility of what went by, of what was ordained for him, of how life has treated him.  He was probably spared the pain of going through another intense 4 years in IIT competing with the best of intellects.  It was sheer intellect vs hard work.  The 4 years could have been the most excruciating ones.  Instead, the almighty chose to bestow a calmer effort spread across several years.  The longer way to the goal.  He was able to manage and swim through with reasonable ease even though a bit drawn.  He sighed and reconciled with the old adage, ”Whatever happens, happens for the best”.  He moved out of that very same room that day an accomplished, reconciled and a satisfied being.  Perhaps, coinciding with this realization, the apartment was being broken, the corner was being broken only to be remodeled signaling the new.

Comic Relief

Comic Relief: Two words that go together. Really. Always.  What brought me to pen down these thoughts was the prompt that appeared next when I typed “Comic” on my Android while responding to a hilarious forward from a dear friend.  And here is how I relate the two words:

A random annual health check routine got me and my spouse visiting a Corporate Hospital Diagnostic Center recently.  Lined up along with us were some seemingly sick patients, tension writ large on their faces awaiting their turn to be pricked by the needle or be subjected to a 2D Echo or to go under the Scanner not knowing what the ensuing results would forebode.  The lit up muted TV screens were throwing up some not so welcome “Breaking News” adding to the gloom that surrounded the Center.  Just then, a hospital help came through armed with the ubiquitous device that is generally called the “Remote” and flipped through a few channels and stopped the moment he saw Brahmanandam (for those who do not know him:  Brahmi as popularly known is a comedian par excellence in Telugu Cinema) on the screen. The scenes being enacted were from the movie “King”, the music scene where Nags confronts Brahmi and engages him to tune up a song for his fan association.   And lo behold, all eyes in the room turned on to the telly.  Tension writ faces broke into smiles forgetting their burden of worries.  Each one would go into the diagnostic room with a smile and would return as quickly as one could and turn his/her gaze back to the telly and smile even more.  Comic relief, it was is and will remain… I conclude….

Trains

Easily one of my favourite pass times. A sleeper class journey gazing out of the window, feeling the wind hit the face, ears absorb the thundering rhythm, while the eyes take in visuals, the nose smells the dieseled smoke and the mind furiously calculates the speed counting the time elapsed between poles. And ofcourse the counting of the compartments.. I will never age when it comes to trains.....

Picture credit: Sruti Meher Nori

The newspaper Boys

The News paper boys: Did you know how every morning the paper boy delivers your choice of your newspaper at exactly the same time and rarely does he err in pushing the wrong paper through your door? Did you know how the distribution works? Yes? maybe? No?
I have been witness to the events that happen from 4:30 am and let me pick the Punjagutta, Hyderabad distribution centre. Vans deliver newspapers post printing to a few very small shops in the small lane adjacent to the HDFC bank. These shops operate only until 7 am. The heads of each end newspaper distribution unit (atleast 20 such units) purchase these news papers exactly as they know how many will get consumed @ 99% accuracy levels. They get their bundles to the nearest open space (see picture attached) and the boys then get to work. They insert pamphlets at a dizzy pace and each of the boys know the exact sequence of whose house first which paper to be delivered and whose next and so on. The stacking takes place in that exact sequence. So I asked, how do you remember the sequence Pat came the reply "We just know".
Whilst, the stacking happens, a mobile chai wala makes rounds offering "shots" of chai to these boys. And then there some folks who cannot wait to read the news and they come directly pay and pick up their paper. The head boy keeps shouting to his boys to quicken the pace and get the stack ready while another kid yawns the morning away..
Go through the place by 7 am and you will not even notice traces of the flurried activity that was enacted an hour earlier.
It definitely is a treat to watch this morning industry...Easily will qualify as a 6 sigma activity much a la the dabba wallas of Mumbai..

The incredible “Red Bus” luxury Express journey

Cock a doodle dooo…the morning in Shirdi dawned as the 2 of us quickly showered, got our “special” darshan pass ready, checked out of the hotel and strode towards the temple. The plan was to 1) pay our obeisance, 2) have a quick bite comprising vada pav, usal pav, 3) down 2 or maybe 3 special masala chais (given my unending love for this brown water thingy), 4) shop for the yummm dudh peda, 5) walk through the by lanes and the small market chaos towards the main road, 6) thumb lift for one of the umpteen Pune bound Volvo busses and 7) reach Meherabad, Ahmadnagar some 95 kms away.
The going was good and we completed the 5th milestone post a little more than a heavy breakfast. The watch claimed the time to be 10:12. Great, I reckoned pretty smug that the going was being perfected to the plan. The sun was up. We were directed to walk down the road to ST (State Transport) bus stand where Volvo busses would pick up travelers. 10:20 the watch showed. Soon it was 10:30 and then 10:47. The sun was beating down on us now while we saw a couple of Maharashtra red busses emerge from the ST stand and go past blowing soft sand into our faces. A few coughs later, we realized about the missing Volvos. Throats parched, we decided to take the next best alternative. We trudged into Maharashtra State bus stand, while one of the busses was just about reversing out of the platform. Phirrrrrrrrrr Phiirrrrrrrr was the shrill noise that fell on our ears. “Kutehe” (Where) shouted the man in Khakis, removing the whistle from his mouth. Nagar, I shouted back over the din. A loud thunk on the bus, stopped it, and we were ushered in. The bus appeared full with many men wearing the whitest of the white shirts and trousers, a cap adorning their heads. The ladies in their cottony dark shades were busy conversing while settling down. A few strange quizzical looks welcomed us. Perhaps, thinking, what this neatly dressed folks are doing in a bus like that !!. Luckily for us there were seats, the last row it was while we sat down on the not so leathery seats, the coconut straws peeking out of the torn seats pinching through the trousers a bit. An Express luxury service the writing on the bus proclaimed that I noticed while clambering on. Alright, I thought, so much for the luxury…let me experience the “Expressness” of the services.
Soon enough, the rattling started. The windows went rattle, rattle, rattle. I was sure that the bus was keeping its “Express” reputation intact and presumed that we were doing 90 kms an hour only to realize a few slower vehicles go past us. I realized that the incessant rattling of the windows added to the notional “speedy” feeling. The flow of air was good, the whiff from the sugarcane fields felt divine. My keen observations into the environs I was in was broken when the conductor came over thrusting his hands shouting “Teeekets”. A 100 Rupee note is what I gave him said “Doan paije, Nagar” recollecting some of my chaste Marathi. “Ankhin Shambhar kada” I was asked with a rather scornful dismissive look. I gave him another 100 and waited. 2 teekets, he thrust into my waiting hands and left. I was expecting some change back, but a quick look into the Marathi numbers on the ticket, left me aghast. Rs. 98 one way !!! My jaw dropped. When did tickets become so expensive, I thought. Highway robbery, I say !!!. I quickly came to and realized how cut off I was from the current times.
80 mins into the journey, we covered a paltry 51 kms distance, when the bus pulled into Rahuri bus station. A glee broke onto our faces. Kheeras, Bhel, parle biskeets, water botttals, time pass moong phallis greeted us. The greedy us bought one of each. A few of the passengers de-boarded while a few walked in. I noticed a burly looking lady walk right upto where I was sitting and said sternly..”Tikde Sarka” (move over) and before I adjusted myself, she plonked herself on my reasonably thin frame. I wailed and let out a soft cry…cursing under my breath while my wifey couldn’t control letting out a grin.
A good peek into a different world it was. We felt pretty good at the end of it, experiencing something different from routine. I still carry the memories of this trip 2 years later. A subtly romantic one I must say…..

Willing the Mind to Exercise everyday

Willing the Mind to Exercise everyday

This blog is not about expounding on the virtues of exercising every day, but more about how to get yourselves to do it !!!  These ofcourse are my personal thoughts that kind of worked for me.  At the cost of me being a plagiarist, you might get a feeling:  Oh yes, I read about these tips in some book…..but probably never ever put them to practice.   Here goes:

1.       The Positive Imaging technique:  Those who have gone on a morning walk or to the gym for a few days would for sure have felt good through the day.  An experience of a spring in your step  or a smile on your face or the feel of feeling good would have followed suit.  Albeit the pain for the first few days, your legs would have gotten used and would have worked like a well oiled machine in the following days.  Positive imaging is all about imagining yourself for the rest of the day and how good you felt the previous day post exercising.   This imagination more often than not helps to shrug of the early morning inertia and prevent one from hitting the snooze button…

2.       It is all in the mind – Trick it:  Perhaps the toughest part of the regimen or before the daily regimen is getting out of bed from your happy happy snuggle snuggle position.  It is probably those few seconds when you trick your mind into submission of not getting back into bed and the think of positive imaging…Keep your alarm clock not by your bedside but a distance away..which will force you to get up drag your feet to the clock.  By this time you would have lost part of your sleep, by this time you would have tricked your mind into positive imaging, by this time you probably  thought ..”ah well, now that I have gotten up, I would not be able to get a proper sleep and will toss around which will be of no use…the best that I could possibly do is to go breath in some fresh air and might as well feel good for the rest of the day !!!”

3.       Applying Positive Pressure: Talk to your friends, talk to your spouse, talk to your colleagues…tell them that you have started to exercise, tell them that you have started walking or practicing yoga or going to a gym, tell them that you have started walking for a 1km to start with and that you will gradually increase to 3 km in 10 days time.  Your friends, colleagues may ask you on your progress.  This kind of puts you under a self-initiated pressure to do well.  You might start talking about what good the exercising is doing for you and might possibly motivate others to join as well.  You kind of get into a position of no return since you have spoken about the “Goodness” that you will keep your word, today and tomorrow and the day after and ….

4.       Gyan from the CEO of TCS:  Perhaps, the best that has happened to me was an evening party Tete-e-tete with N. Chandra who is an avid Marathonist.  I popped a question, “Sir, How do you find time, given the position you are in to peacefully exercise and that too daily”.  The reply was simple and profound.  He placed his hands on my shoulder and said “My dear Sir, What do you do as soon as you get up”.  I blurted “Well, brush”. He asked “And then”…  I replied “make myself coffee or tea”.  He “And then”.  I said “Reach out to the newspaper”.  He “And then”…I was kind of flustered by then and was wondering where this was going…And the question and answer kept happening for the next 3 minutes or so.  And then he asked “Do you ever forget to brush your teeth or drink your coffee or bathe or ….” He was kind of checklisting my every morning’s routine and then popped “What if you enter a 20 min exercise routine into this checklist?  Can you do that?  Probably, hit bed 30 mins earlier every night so that you do not miss out on your 7 hour sleep, perhaps, hit the “OFF” button on your TV 30 mins early?  Can you do that?”  And he continued “Can you make this a habit just as naturally as you brush your teeth?  Can you sketch this part into your daily routine?  Trust me, if you do this for a month, it will become a habit that you will never ever miss.  And ofcourse, if you do this exactly at the same time of the day, this will become a habit all the more easily”.   I pondered thereafter for the rest of the evening “If, the CEO of a $ 10 Bn enterprise is saying this and is practicing what he is preaching ever so lucidly and in such simple manner, can I not do it ???”.

5.       Choose the Company and the Place:  Having like minded people as company when you exercise helps.  More often than not, you kind of ease off the daily drill after a few days, if you go it alone.  Exercising with a  group is always fun,  each motivating the other.  See what interests you the best and start off with that whether Yoga (there maybe a group under a coach in your friendly neighborhood) or walking or swimming or the gym…You choose…

The bottom line to start off is “Willing your mind to do it”.  This is the key.  Will it and you shall be a happy healthy you….

Caution:  You should check with your Doctor before you get into the exercise routine.  This is an absolute must.

Trust this blog though lengthy is of use to you and you will “WILL YOUR MIND TO EXERCISE EVERY DAY.” 

Prasanna Meher Nori

15^th June 2013

Value Life - A True Story

July 2012

VALUE LIFE

Her 7 year young son implored “Amma, get up, Amma wake up.  There are several people who have come to our house wanting to see you.  I don’t know why they all are crying.  Amma, please wake up Amma”.  His Grandmother sat close questioning inconsolably, “Why did it have to happen to my daughter, What wrong has she done…” while, his Grandfather was seemingly wandering aimlessly holding himself from shedding a tear, making arrangements for what was to be his daughters final journey….

Minus 4 days to that day, Sujana got on to her 2 wheeler to run an errand for her son, a ride close to her house.  She would have been making around 30 km/hr or less on the busy Filmnagar-Jubilee Hills checkpost road, when an auto hit her from behind.  Losing balance, she fell hitting her head on the road median.  She was immediately rushed to Apollo Hospitals, where the doctors sutured her head up and informed that there was a good loss of blood and only a miracle would save her.  The cut was deep into the base of her skull.  She was kept on life support systems while we prayed our hearts out.  With no progress seen, the doctors advised the family of the dreaded option of removing the life support system since, she was in a brain-dead state.

I often gaze at her office cubicle, right across where I sit…how I miss the ever smiling face, the busy self, the neat composure and wonder on the cruel twist of fate.  It just took less than a second for the event to happen on the fateful day.  Thinking, how donning a HELMET could have changed everything.  How things could have been so very radically different, how her son would run into her arms, when she returned home from work, how her family would huddle together for those evening dinners or the weekend get-togethers, how her son would not question his grandparents…”Ammamma, you told me that Amma will be back after getting a new brain…when will she be back…I want to tell her what all I did in school today….”

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I am hoping that you will share the above article with your friends.   Perhaps, it will drive sense into atleast 10% of the readers or their families that it wise to don a helmet while on a 2 wheeler, wear a seat belt whilst in a car, drive slow and safe.  I for one, have decided not to take calls when I drive.  How often I came close to hitting someone in front, while I was busy looking at “Who called my cell”.  I recognize that a simple nudge to a 2-wheeler can have disastrous effects.

Prasanna Meher Nori

Providence: Tale of two Lives, Mine included

23-Mar-2013

Providence: Tale of two Lives, Mine included

08:43 hours this Thursday could have been a defining moment for 2 lives had it not been for a divine intervention.  My usual self bade a bye to my wife lodging my rucksack in the backseat of my car, mumbling my daily prayers easing into the unwelcome chaotic puzzling Hyderabadi traffic. 

This day’s traffic was no different and my watchful self waded through the morning chaos thinking of the surprises that my work will offer.  My thoughts took me into the World of the XL the columns, the rows, the pivots, the numbers I will have to work on to get to a graph evidencing that I was in the right and the client is making much ado about nothing.  The other part of my mind was working on which song would be best to listen to and ah yes…the third folder…the fifth song..for that Kishore song..”Savera ka Sooraj….” Or should I tune into one of the FM channels to listen to ….Clang…Crash…thud...Wail….Screeeeech…Screech…and I find a young twenty something sprawled inches away in front of my car, his helmet had come off and his belongings strewn, his bike lying parallel on the road with the rear wheels still whirring with life….What the..where did he..how did he….and I slammed my brakes with a supreme effort stopping inches from his head.  Visibly shaken and completely stirred, the blood drained ashen me rooted in my seat let out a rare bead of sweat…With my heart pounding, I got out to check the damage that lay in front…Did I hit him?  Did my car touch him?  Is he ok?  Is there blood?  But where did he come from and how did he land there out of nowhere?

A few good Samaritans stopped by, lending a helping hand to the 20 something who appeared to be thoroughly puzzled and was muttering some choicest expletives on someone.  I figured that the recipient of these expletives was a jay walker crossing the road on foot, who appeared out from behind a car that was running adjacent to mine.  Completely blind sighted and surprised, the biker slammed his brakes but could not avoid hitting him.  Losing balance, he fell, his bike in front of the car adjacent to mine and he himself flung right in front of mine.

I was wondering What if I were doing 35 kmph instead of 30 kmph.....what if I was fiddling with the stereo controls getting to my fav song or trying to avoid an ad on the FM moving to the next station or I had my head turned admiring the BMW 720D or a black Merc A Class that may have been tailing mine or a momentary lapse of concentration having a dekho at a Pretty Young Thing ambling on the road or stealing a look at my phone to check who called ??..…What a defining difference that micro-second could have had.....

Providence had a big role to play this Thursday surely, else, It would have completely changed my life in multifarious ways.  And the 20 something would have lost a limb or two or may be looking for a broken back life cursing his fate and or even worse possibly be on his last ever journey on mother earth.  

How a micro-second of time on the road esp. the Hyderabadi  roads could completely change a life…I keep wondering…..

Prasanna Meher Nori